Updated: Jun 14
Note* - Intended for mature audiences.
I matched a girl on Tinder three days ago. Let’s call her Margaret for the sake of privacy.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “Why ‘Margaret?'”
Well, "Margaret" was the name she had for her car...so I figured I'd just use that...
Yes, I also know you’re thinking, “...Who in the f*** names their car “Margaret?” 🤣
All joking aside, within a day of swiping right on her picture, Margaret oddly received the record for the longest amount of time I’ve ever spent talking to someone on the phone without having met them first.
I typically don't even enjoy talking on the phone, unless it's with a client. I’d much prefer connecting in person where I can look into their eyes, shake their hand, give them a hug, etc.
But Marge lives out of town so we had to settle for the next best thing. Even still, I typically don’t give much time talking to a romantic interest before I’ve met her in person, especially if she doesn’t live in my area.
Though there was something about Marge that was different.
First off, she was a yoga and fitness teacher so we both shared a deep passion for health and wellness. Our conversations got vulnerable quickly, talking about personal things that typically don’t surface until you get to know someone better.
We shared our struggles and lessons from our own spiritual journey’s and how they have evolved into wanting to assist others on theirs. It’s not every day I get to meet someone my age who has been on a similar path as me.
We talked about our dreams, desires and fears for the future. We shared our weird mutual obsession for food and all the different things we love to sink our teeth into. We shared our turn-ons and turn-offs, and everything in between.
In the end, Margaret was coming across as a down to earth, intelligent, sexy young woman who I was developing a real excitement to meet in person.
Because of our schedules, I didn’t think it was going to happen for some time but through a series of spontaneous and unexpected events last night, we were able to meet in the city adjacent to both of us.
Moments leading up to meeting at our decided location, I sat down in the leather booth of a noisy restaurant with a delicious glass of stout cradling my hand. The beer was the only thing cold about the moment.
My stomach, heart and lips were tingling hot with anticipation. I took several calm, deep breaths in to align my nerves with the present moment. A wave of positivity travelled throughout my body, enveloping a brilliant smile on my face.
I love this, I thought.
I love meeting new people.
I love the adventure of going on a date and the uncertainty that comes along with it.
I love not knowing how the rest of this night is going to play out.
Maybe something awesome will happen. Maybe it won’t.
I’m not attached to any outcome.
If someone were to tell me how it actually was going to go, however, I would have laughed...
The music blared between us as she walked through the front entrance to approach the table. Seeing her for the first time, two words snapped into my mind.
She looked relatively different than she did online. Some of her pictures were dated a couple of years and she certainly wasn’t wearing the beautiful baby blue bridesmaid dress, done up with the flawless hair and makeup I caught myself fantasizing about the day before.
My ego gave a sharp ruffle.
I can’t believe it, the voice in my head tried to protest. If someone isn’t honest with their profile pictures then it’s probably going to be challenging to trust other parts of them too. This date is likely going to end quickly.
Boom. Boom. Boom. Bang. Bang. Bang.
Heavy bass waves rattled up my backbone into my skull, accompanied by a feeling of mild discomfort.
It's no surprise to anyone that a lot of people's online and offline personas differ to some degree. Some people edit themselves intentionally, motivated by a desire to be perceived a certain way. Other times it’s unconscious due to a lack of self awareness.
Whatever it is, many of us know the frustration that can come along with creating any kind of relationship online.
Beep, Bap, Boop, Bip, Bip...
What IS this music?
I had to make a decision. I could allow my ego to get the best of me and brood over her not being quite what I was expecting...or I could set any superficial hangups aside and remain curious and open to connect with the deeper reasons I found her so attractive in the first place.
Relax. Let's just be in the moment, go with the flow and see what happens, I quickly concluded, allowing a deep breath to soften my back.
I could tell Margaret was nervous by the subtle twitches her fingers and shoulders let out that she was unconsciously trying to hide.
The body never lies.
Moments into our conversation, however, she began to relax into me and the plush leather booth beneath us. She began to exude the same sexy vulnerability and boldness she shared over the phone.
It was on.
As we got to talking, looking into each others eyes, there was a palpable physical chemistry brewing between us.
I found myself being moved to brush her arm and give her thigh a quick squeeze at various points of punctuation in our conversation. She laughed at my jokes when they weren't funny. I fed her teasing stares whenever she'd respond with something silly.
We continued to laugh and flirt for about thirty minutes as the last drops of our drinks slowly slid down our throats.
Boom, Boom, Gulp.
I like this song.
In the next moment I felt an energetic pull in my gut and chest to get us out of there.
I tuned into the vibe to see what it was about. She wants me to kiss her, my gut boldly whispered.
My head gave a light jerk towards the door with a soft smirk wiped across my face.
“Let’s go,” I said affirmingly over the heavy vibrating speakers above our table.
Ignoring everything but my eyes, she agreed calmly without hesitation.
When is the right moment to kiss someone?
There is no "right" moment, but if there was, then it would be the one you don’t feel like it would be right not to kiss the person across from you — sexual tension crescendos to the point where the space between you begs for your lips to come together instantly.
Is there anything better than a playful dance of passion, romance and unrestrained desire between two people?
As we walked down the quiet, dimly lit street, I could feel her energy opening up to me even more. We found ourselves stopping at a deserted corner where the stark, warm air was almost as fresh as the moment.
As I looked into her eyes, a heated muffled scream echoed in the lower parts of my body. — A distant dungeon...a master advancing on his prey.
"I want to be taken by you," her body shouted through the shackles of her mothers heart.
Long ago my immature ego would roar its ugly head, once again, in moments like this.
What if I’m imagining this to be something it’s not?
What if she doesn’t want me to kiss her?
What if it’s not the right time?
What if...what if...what if...
I’ve learned from experience that the intuitive voice always tells the truth, whereas the ego often makes frivolous attempts to keep us safe.
I took a step closer to her, sliding my right hand through her hair, squeezing it into a loose fist.
With a sigh of surprise pulling in through her lungs, her body pressed up against me without a fight. Her lips met mine with ease, my arms then traveling down her waste, squeezing slowly with passion.