Updated: Dec 3, 2019
Note* - Intended for mature audiences. Please don't read if you're a judgmental person 😉. Enjoy.
I matched a girl on Tinder three days ago. Let’s call her Margaret for the sake of privacy.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “Why ‘Margaret?'”
Well, "Margaret" was the name she had for her car...so I figured I'd just use that...
Yes, I also know you’re thinking, “...Who in the f*** names their car “Margaret?” 🤣
All joking aside, within a day of swiping right on her picture, Margaret oddly received the record for the longest amount of time I’ve ever spent talking to someone on the phone without having met them first.
I typically don't even enjoy talking on the phone, unless it's with a client. I’d much prefer connecting in person where I can look into their eyes, shake their hand, give them a hug, etc.
But Marge lives out of town so we had to settle for the next best thing. Even still, I typically don’t give much time talking to a romantic interest before I’ve met her in person, especially if she doesn’t live in my area.
Though there was something about Marge that was different.
First off, she was a yoga and fitness teacher so we both shared a deep passion for health and wellness. Our conversations got vulnerable quickly, talking about personal things that typically don’t surface until you get to know someone better.
We shared our struggles and lessons from our own spiritual journey’s and how they have evolved into wanting to assist others on theirs. It’s not every day I get to meet someone my age who has been on a similar path as me.
We talked about our dreams, desires and fears for the future. We shared our weird mutual obsession for food and all the different things we love to sink our teeth into. We shared our turn-ons and turn-offs, and everything in between.
In the end, Margaret was coming across as a down to earth, intelligent, sexy young woman who I was developing a real excitement to meet in person.
Because of our schedules, I didn’t think it was going to happen for some time but through a series of spontaneous and unexpected events last night, we were able to meet in the city adjacent to both of us.
Moments leading up to meeting at our decided location, I sat down in the leather booth of a noisy restaurant with a delicious glass of stout cradling my hand. The beer was the only thing cold about the moment.
My stomach, heart and lips were tingling hot with anticipation. I took several calm, deep breaths in to align my nerves with the present moment. A wave of positivity travelled throughout my body, enveloping a brilliant smile on my face.
I love this, I thought.
I love meeting new people.
I love the adventure of going on a date and the uncertainty that comes along with it.
I love not knowing how the rest of this night is going to play out.
Maybe something awesome will happen. Maybe it won’t.
I’m not attached to any outcome.
If someone were to tell me how it actually was going to go, however, I would have laughed...
The music blared between us as she walked through the front entrance to approach the table. Seeing her for the first time, two words snapped into my mind.
She looked relatively different than she did online. Some of her pictures were dated a couple of years and she certainly wasn’t wearing the beautiful baby blue bridesmaid dress, done up with the flawless hair and makeup I caught myself fantasizing about the day before.
My ego gave a sharp ruffle.
I can’t believe it, the voice in my head tried to protest. If someone isn’t honest with their profile pictures then it’s probably going to be challenging to trust other parts of them too. This date is likely going to end quickly.
Boom. Boom. Boom. Bang. Bang. Bang.
Heavy bass waves rattled up my backbone into my skull, accompanied by a feeling of mild discomfort.
It's no surprise to anyone that a lot of people's online and offline personas differ to some degree. Some people edit themselves intentionally, motivated by a desire to be perceived a certain way. Other times it’s unconscious due to a lack of self awareness.
Whatever it is, many of us know the frustration that can come along with creating any kind of relationship online.
Beep, Bap, Boop, Bip, Bip...
What IS this music?
I had to make a decision. I could allow my ego to get the best of me and brood over her not being quite what I was expecting...or I could set any superficial hangups aside and remain curious and open to connect with the deeper reasons I found her so attractive in the first place.
Relax. Let's just be in the moment, go with the flow and see what happens, I quickly concluded, allowing a deep breath to soften my back.
I could tell Margaret was nervous by the subtle twitches her fingers and shoulders let out that she was unconsciously trying to hide.
The body never lies.
Moments into our conversation, however, she began to relax into me and the plush leather booth beneath us. She began to exude the same sexy vulnerability and boldness she shared over the phone.
It was on.
As we got to talking, looking into each others eyes, there was a palpable physical chemistry brewing between us.
I found myself being moved to brush her arm and give her thigh a quick squeeze at various points of punctuation in our conversation. She laughed at my jokes when they weren't funny. I fed her teasing stares whenever she'd respond with something silly.
We continued to laugh and flirt for about thirty minutes as the last drops of our drinks slowly slid down our throats.
Boom, Boom, Gulp.
I like this song.
In the next moment I felt an energetic pull in my gut and chest to get us out of there.
I tuned into the vibe to see what it was about. She wants me to kiss her, my gut boldly whispered.
My head gave a light jerk towards the door with a soft smirk wiped across my face.
“Let’s go,” I said affirmingly over the heavy vibrating speakers above our table.
Ignoring everything but my eyes, she agreed calmly without hesitation.
When is the right moment to kiss someone?
There is no "right" moment, but if there was, then it would be the one you don’t feel like it would be right not to kiss the person across from you — sexual tension crescendos to the point where the space between you begs for your lips to come together instantly.
Is there anything better than a playful dance of passion, romance and unrestrained desire between two people?
As we walked down the quiet, dimly lit street, I could feel her energy opening up to me even more. We found ourselves stopping at a deserted corner where the stark, warm air was almost as fresh as the moment.
As I looked into her eyes, a heated muffled scream echoed in the lower parts of my body. — A distant dungeon...a master advancing on his prey.
"I want to be taken by you," her body shouted through the shackles of her mothers heart.
Long ago my immature ego would roar its ugly head, once again, in moments like this.
What if I’m imagining this to be something it’s not?
What if she doesn’t want me to kiss her?
What if it’s not the right time?
What if...what if...what if...
I’ve learned from experience that the intuitive voice always tells the truth, whereas the ego often makes frivolous attempts to keep us safe.
I took a step closer to her, sliding my right hand through her hair, squeezing it into a loose fist.
With a sigh of surprise pulling in through her lungs, her body pressed up against me without a fight. Her lips met mine with ease, my arms then traveling down her waste, squeezing slowly with passion.
Moments like this are proof time doesn’t exist. The clouds were gliding along with us.
Our bodies continued to pulsate with desire as we pulled apart to look at each other deeply once again. Then came a feeling I know too well to try to deny.
Not this time, Ego, my presence commanded.
The intention behind it was honest and pure. Neither of us were going to try to pretend it couldn't be heard.
“Let’s go,” I said as I grabbed her hand and lead her to my car.
As we walked over, the sudden realization of what she was doing crept over her. I could tell she was slightly nervous about allowing herself to get in a car late at night with a guy she hardly knew, in a town she’s not at all familiar with.
“Are you going to kill me?” She asked with as much light as the moon chiming above us.
“Yep,” I said with a blunt forward stare.
A dark feminine giggle escaped her breathe as I flashed her a wry wink and smile.
To be honest, I didn’t know where I was taking her; I was doing what I always do: I was going with the flow of whatever I felt called towards in the moment.
I ended up bringing her to a giant open field I used to play on when I was a kid. There was nothing to be found except the baseball diamond lights and the distant stars illuminating the long, wet grass in front of us.
The air was cooler now, but like my hard black beverage at the restaurant, it was the only cold thing about the moment.
We walked along the shadow of a tall metal fence while sharing knowing glances at each other. I could feel the ghost of my inner innocent child longing in the distance for the game I was playing on this field tonight.
We travelled far enough from the street when nothing but pure silence hit us hard. We looked at eachother and without hesitation I grabbed her by her coat collar and slammed her up against the chained fence.
Our bodies performing a primal dance on the spot — the blood pumping through our veins was the only music we could hear now.
I slipped my hands under her shirt and rubbed her chest. She moaned freely as I put my mouth on her neck, kissing and biting her gently.
Allowing myself to adventure all over her body, her pants making my fingers wet...she let out a high pitched moan as I massaged between her legs. I placed my other hand firmly around her neck, kissing her lips passionately.
“You can touch me if you want,” I whispered lowly in her ear.
Like an animal being let out of its cage, her hands sprang to my belt buckle, my other fingers travelling up to create an even tighter grasp around her throat.
Her chin involuntarily shot up to the sky in a woke ecstasy, the sound of metal opening around my waste.
Her hands felt surprisingly hot through the night air on the skin underneath my pants. I put my tongue in her mouth to taste her at a level I hadn’t had the chance to yet.
The music couldn’t be stopped. The sound of blood beating, louder than the restaurant speakers, was the only noise moving us forward.
I grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around, pushing the front of her body up against the fence. My hands dug into the sides of her pants and ripped them down to the ground, exposing every beautiful part of her lower half.
I crouched down and dug my face into her with unabashed pleasure. I let my mouth go to work on her, eating and licking whatever it wanted, her screams unwilling to be restrained.
If the night didn’t know who we were before, it did now.
I moved us into the open field and laid myself down in the grass. It was wet and cold but I couldn’t care because our bodies knew the heat the moments ahead would bring with it.
She through her pants into the darkness and got down on top of me.
"I hate pants," she said looking at me coyly with giggling red cheeks. I smiled back at her, pausing to enjoy a moment in her eyes.
Our naked bodies met for the first time, writhing in a beautiful harmonious flow.
I grabbed the back of her hair and pulled hard as I thrust myself slowly inside her, the earth becoming warmer beneath me in every beat.
My hands travelled up her smooth silk thighs. I could no longer tell the difference between the sound of her voice, the sky, and the emotions I was feeling.
Spank me, something or someone said.
Does an animal want to be let out of its cage, or does it want to be held captive forever?
Do we want to be told what to do or do we want to be free to roam however we desire?
Who’s truly in charge of what happens in our lives? Is it our hearts will?...or some kind of melodic "god" force?
The music continued to play as our bodies made their last move on the soiled, wet dance floor. As the song came to an end...so did we.
She laid there on top of me with her heart and soul completely open to allow the dead of night to breathe her now beautifully broken body.
We reflected in stillness, tightly holding onto each other in suspended sensual vulnerability. A pause came with the realization of what we’d just done, leaving us in whispers of quiet laughter...
Boom boom boom...Bang bang bang...
Last night I went on a Tinder date with Margaret. It was one of the most fun nights I've ever had. Not because of what we did, but because of the way we did it.
From the moment she walked in the door, I could hear many different songs playing. The song of my ego, my heart, her vibe, the restaurant and the night sky all played simultaneously.
Which one did I pay attention and choose to move towards? Which one did she follow?
Can you hear the music around you?... Within you?
If you can't then it means you're not paying attention. Or worse, you're listening, but you're tolerating a song you don't even enjoy.
I'm not saying you should listen to me and my song or anyone else's song for that matter.
There are no "right" or perfect songs. Those don't exist. But there are the ones that fill you full of passion, desire and joy. Our job in life is to simply discover and create the best music possible while ignoring the rest...
And then relentlessly... unabashedly... dance until we're dead...
...BOOM BOOM BOOM!