I broke this post into two parts to make it easier to digest. This one will lay out the principles for emotional healing and the next will lay out practices related to them.
There are more principals and practices outside of these, however, these are the foundation and basics to start helping you create the changes you're looking for in regards to your emotional health.
These truths are universal and powerful. When you integrate them into your life, you will experience consistent positive shifts.
So don't just read them once and forget them. Don't even just take my word for it.
Read them carefully. Let the words land inside your heart. Then question them and really see if they're true for you or not. Talk about them with people you trust and ask the questions you need to get the clarity you want.
I invite you to send me your questions or comments after you're finished. I love hearing from you and I want to hear your thoughts.
Comment below or connect with me on instagram @Bron.Johnson!
Also, please share this if you think it will help others.
With love,
Bron.
Principle #1 - Resisting Negative Emotion Creates More Negative Emotion
It is human instinct to resist that which doesn't feel good to us, right?
It seems logical to push back against any gross feeling, perceiving it as something we need to get away from.
However, this never works out for us because it's an energetic law that says,
That which you resist will always persist.
The reason is because whatever we give our attention to in life, whether positive or negative, will grow and become more than what it was before.
Earl Nightingale produced a program in the 1950's that went on to be the best selling personal development audio of it's time entitled The Strangest Secret. The "secret" Earl was talking about was this:
"We get and become what we think about most of the time."
Everything, including your emotional well being, begins with what kind of thoughts you think throughout your day.
Whether you look at it on an energetic level or a practical level, your dominant thoughts are what create the kind of life experience you have.
Your habitual thoughts become where you give your focus. Your focus becomes what you spend your time on. What you spend your time on equals your life experience.
If you know you're thinking more negative than positive thoughts right now, or don't feel like you have any control over your thinking at all, that's okay too.
Science has shown that the brain is highly trainable and malleable to become what you design it to be, and you will be given practices that show you how to make the changes you want in Part 2 of this post.
For now, conceptually understand this basic principle that when you resist any kind of negativity, you're actually creating more of it in your life.
Just like you cannot fight fire with fire, you cannot fight negativity with more negativity.
Principle #2 - Negative Emotion Gives You Powerful Information
Like your five senses (taste, touch, smell, hearing and eyesight) that all give you valuable information to help you navigate your life in a way that pleases you, your emotions also help you in a similar way.
Your emotional intelligence, however, is the most evolved and most powerful scent you have because it's literally telling you what kind of thoughts you're thinking, and therefor, what kind of future you're creating for yourself.
But why aren't we taught to see or use our emotions this way?
For example, if you were to put your hand on a hot stove element, you would remove it immediately because your sense of touch would let you know that it causes you pain.
However, how common is it for us to hold our attention on thoughts and beliefs that cause us emotional pain for long periods of time?
We think about the person that wronged us, and we think about it over and over again, causing constant emotions of betrayal, revenge and hatred.
We look at ourselves in the mirror and compare ourselves to others, causing us to feel unworthy, inadequate and sometimes even anger.
We think of things we want while dwelling on the fact that we don't have them yet, making us feel doubt, worry, or shame.
So ask yourself this:
Why are we so ready to take our hand off the hot stove, but subject ourselves to thoughts and beliefs that make us feel so much emotional pain?
How did this get so normal?
The reason is that most of us are not taught to understand our emotions and listen to the truth of what they're communicating to us.
Instead, we are taught to ignore the way we feel, stifle it away, run away from it, endure it, justify it, and even see it as the enemy to getting what we really want in life.
So answer the following questions in your head or on a piece of paper:
1. What are emotions?
2. Where do emotions come from?
3. How do emotions get inside your body?
Stop reading and think or write your answers before you continue.
Every emotion you experience is your physical bodies reaction to how you're perceiving reality in any given moment.
Put simply, your emotions, positive and negative, come from your bodies response to your thoughts about life, rather than life itself.
This means that every experience you have throughout your life, in reality, is neutral. The way you think about the situation is what gives it meaning, and thus makes it feel either positive or negative to you.
That's why every single person has a relatively different emotional reaction to every circumstance imaginable.
Everyone has different thoughts and beliefs running through their consciousness, and therefor we're all experiencing life differently to some degree.
There is a difference between emotional pain and physical pain. Both are inevitable, yet both are highly manageable. Just like you can take care of your physical body to prevent physical pain, you can also take care of your emotional body by becoming more conscious of what kind of thoughts you're giving your attention to in any given moment.
When you start to see your negative emotion as an indicator of what kind of thoughts you're thinking, you will start to see them as a helpful guide rather than a hinderance you have to constantly manage.
Principle #3 - You Are The Chooser Of Your Thoughts. Therefore, You Are The Chooser Of Your Emotions.
The moment you understand that every emotion you feel is your bodies response to what kind of thought you're thinking is the moment you start to guide your emotions in whatever way you choose.
Even though this does take practice and a willingness to change, the equation is consistent and simple:
Positive thoughts, beliefs and perceptions will always produce positive emotions within you.
Negative thoughts, beliefs and perceptions will always produce negative emotions within you.
The reason most people feel bad is because they're giving the majority of their attention to the negative and unwanted aspects of their lives and the world around them.
They have a habit of always seeing the negative in things, and justify their negativity by saying, "But it's true! These bad things are really happening!"
Even though it might be true, the laws that govern the creation of our experience will always be consistent, and therefore does not serve you or anyone to focus on any negativity for long periods of time.
That which you resist will always persist.
You get and become what you think about most of the time.
If you want to feel better and create an enjoyable life experience, you must understand and accept these fundamental truths.
Believing that you don't possess this power and see yourself as a victim is a perfect recipe for holding yourself in a place of suffering.
You can free yourself from these shackles, however, by accepting that you are in charge of what kind of thoughts you think in every waking moment.
The truth is you do not have to believe or do anything that does not resonate with your own sense of reason and intuition.
The rules and regulations your family, friends, teachers and society have given you will affect you to the degree that you allow them too.
In order to become free of limiting beliefs, you must begin now to see yourself as a completely free being who is the creator of your own reality.
You can be, do and have whatever YOU want.
You must become a person who does not allow negativity to affect you in the same way it affects others.
You do not become a cold hearted person who does not have empathy for the world around you. Instead you learn to become compassionate, holding space for yourself and others who have not yet realized that they too possess the power to create their own reality.
The person who takes their power back is the person who develops a strong, healthy sense of self esteem and self worth.
When you truly love and accept yourself just the way you are, you will begin to give yourself the respect you need to become the deliberate chooser of your thoughts, emotions and reality.
(Optional) Here are three powerful questions you can dive into to help you cultivate this new self-loving identity:
1. If I had high levels of self respect, what would be different about my life?
2. If I loved and accepted myself for who I really am, what would I be doing with my life right now?
3. If I felt deep emotions of joy, empowerment and freedom, what would I choose to create in the world?
Take your time on these questions. They will give you powerful awareness to help you move towards the life you want.
Principle #4 - Love is Always What You're Seeking
Whether it's a new lover, a better looking body or a big pile of money, everything you want in life is because you believe you will feel better in the having, being or doing of it.
The highest emotion we have access to as human beings is the emotion of love.
It does not matter what word you use to describe it, however. Love is synonymous with appreciation, joy, empowerment, freedom and knowing.
Ask yourself this important question:
Where does my sense of love come from; outside, or inside of me?
Even though it does feel good to have someone else look at you with an attitude of love and appreciation, the outside world in all its forms is always shifting and becoming something different relative to you.
Your lover may be here to love you today, but they may be gone tomorrow.
Your job may be secure today, but something or someone may be better suited to replace you tomorrow.
Your trip to your ideal destination will bring you joy while you're there, but you have to face the reality you've created for yourself when you come back.
Because it's love that you're always seeking, the wisest intention you can make for your life is to create the love you seek within yourself so you do not have to rely on outside circumstances to be different in order for you to feel good.
This is what it means to have unconditional love. It's the practice of trading in all your needs for what I call passionate preferences.
This does not mean that you should not get excited or enthused about outside experiences. On the contrary, taking great joy and pleasure in every aspect of life is what it's really all about.
The joy that you seek does indeed lay in your journey, not in your need to get to some future destination.
There is only love to be found in the present moment. The more you practice making peace with your now, the more self reliant and empowered you will become to create the life you want.
Recap:
Principle #1 - Resisting Negative Emotion Creates More Negative Emotion
Main takeaway: That which you resist will always persist
Principle #2 - Negative Emotion Gives You Powerful Information
Main takeaway: Your emotions tell you what kind of future reality you're creating
Principle #3 - You Are The Chooser Of Your Thoughts. Therefore, You Are The Chooser Of Your Emotions.
Main takeaway: You are free to think and believe whatever you want. You can be, do and have anything you desire.
Principle #4 - Love is Always What You're Seeking
Main takeaway: Everything you want is because you think it will make you feel better. The secret to life is deciding that nothing is more important than that you feel better than you do now.