Updated: Feb 28, 2020
Hello and welcome to Part 2 of this post, 4 Principles & Practices For Mental & Emotional Healing.
It is not necessary to read or listen to Part 1 but it is recommended.
As always, please leave your comments and questions in this post or on instagram @Bron.Johnson
I look forward to hearing from you!
Practice #1 - The Shame Game Process
Did you know that most of your feelings of disconnection from love, joy, freedom and creativity are rooted in shame?
Shame is what we feel when we believe that there's legitimately something about us that is "wrong" or "bad." It is the fear of being unworthy.
World renowned author and researcher, Brené Brown, is regarded for saying,
"Everyone has shame to some degree, and the less you've talked about and processed it, the more you have it."
So how do we rid ourselves of shame?
For this, I developed a powerful practice called The Shame Game. It's very simple but the effects will change your life.
To start, get a piece of paper or your journal and set an intention to write out all the places in your life that you feel shame.
You will not share this list with anyone. This game/process is for you and for you only.
The more raw, vulnerable and honest you are with your shame points, the more effective the practice will be.
An example of a shame list looks like this:
I am shameful of:
1. My body
2. Not being in a relationship
3. Stealing from work
4. Not apologizing to my friend even though I know I was in the wrong
5. Knowing what I want to do in life but not taking action toward it
6. Not being able to cry or show emotion when I want
7. Not knowing how to make as much money as I want
8. Not knowing how to talk to my kids
9. Not knowing how to talk to my partner
10. For the mistakes I made in the past
11. For getting caught drinking and driving
12. Fighting with people I love
13. Eating junk food
14. Watching porn
15. Being lazy
16. Not being good enough for my parents
17. Getting rejected when I told her/him I liked them
18. The size of my penis
19. The way my vagina looks
20. The way other people look at me
Write down as many shame points as you can; aim for at least 10 but see if you can write 20+.
If you can't think of any, then stop searching with your head, and start searching with your heart, gut and belly. That is where we hold the majority of our emotion.
Now reflect on your list.
How does it feel to be vulnerable to the reasons you feel shameful? Is it uncomfortable? Is it eye opening? Is it empowering?
Up until now, you've been unconsciously hiding behind your shame points because we live in a world that, for the most part, does not know how to handle them appropriately.
You were taught to numb your emotional pain through all kinds of distractive behaviour, seeking a sense of fulfillment and purpose in all the wrong places.
This typically manifests in some kind of addictive behaviour by abusing things like food, prescription and non-prescription drugs, alcohol, TV, social media and anything else that is considered an honest distraction from your core values in life.
To win at The Shame Game, you must be brave enough to look at your list with a full open heart of compassion and recognize that these are societies made up reasons, which you have unconsciously adopted, to not feel worthy of the love, acceptance and connection you crave.
When you have this awareness, you give yourself the opportunity to take your power back from your ego's false judgments and give yourself the love you want, regardless of your shame points.
The easiest way to be successful with this game is by recognizing that there has never been a human that has walked the earth that has not felt shame. We all have it.
There is no such thing as perfectionism, and once you embrace that fully, your compassion for your flaws gets to a level where you don't take yourself -- your ego -- so seriously anymore.
Reflecting on your list really does become a game because you realize the awesome benefit of turning your points of shame into reasons why you always will be and always have been an unconditionally beautiful, imperfect human.
You start to see that the more vulnerable you become to your shame, the more vulnerable you can become to joy, love and true empowerment as well on a consistent bases.
The Shame Game can be played anytime you feel any kind of negativity coursing through your body, not just with paper and pen.
The moment you feel it throughout your day, become aware of it with compassion. Remind yourself often,
"Even though I feel ashamed, I deeply love and accept myself. I am worthy of feeling good. I choose to see myself as a good person. I deserve to feel good about myself no matter what."
The more you practice courageously looking at yourself with eyes of compassion, rather than eyes of judgment, the more you'll not only win at The Shame Game, but also at the game of life.
Practice #2 - Moving Up The Emotional Guidance Scale
As we learned in Part 1, every emotion you feel is your bodies reaction to the way you're perceiving and thinking about life in any given moment.
If you don't know where you currently are emotionally then it can make it hard to feel better than you do now.
The Emotional Guidance Scale, a tool produced by my favourite author, Esther Hicks, is a way to measure how you're feeling relative to where you really want to be.
Whether you're aware of it or not, everything you want in life is because you think you will feel better when you have it. In other words, your desire behind every external desire is to feel better than you do now.
So, it only makes sense that your goal throughout your life is to always move up the emotional scale.
Don't be distracted if a word feels out of place relative to how you feel right now; everyone will relate to the words differently to some degree.
The Emotional Guidance Scale:
Joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation
Enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness
Positive expectation, belief
Frustration, impatience, irritation
Insecurity, guilt, unworthiness
Fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness
In order to make this practice work really well for you, it's important to be aware that every step up the emotional scale is rooted in some kind of feeling of relief.
In other words, if you are feeling the crippling emotion of depression (22), it will feel better to you to feel anger (17), even though most people might tell you that anger is an inappropriate emotion to feel.