Gaslighting is when someone consciously or unconsciously uses psychological manipulation to make you question reality, and ultimately your own sanity.
The goal of the gaslighter is to make their own behaviour appear acceptable, when in REALITY, it is harmful or damaging in some way to the people who encounter it.
I would argue that most people who gaslight aren’t fully aware that they’re doing it. Their unconscious parasitic tactics are more often a manifestation of their own unhealed trauma, as apposed to a DELIBERATE strategy in getting what they want (I.e- Con artists, scammers, true narcissists, etc).
In any case, this doesn’t excuse their behaviour, though it can help us understand the root cause behind it, and therefor respond effectively rather than become a victim to it.
If you think you’re being gaslit by your partner, a co-worker/boss, friend or family member...or even your president! (😉😬)... Talk about it with someone you trust, ideally a counsellor, coach, therapist or good friend to help gain clarity from a third party perspective.
By doing nothing when you encounter gaslighting, you are virtually saying to them, “The way you are treating me and others is acceptable and okay.” By doing/saying nothing, you are, in a way, enabling the gaslighting to continue.
Reach for the courage to gain the clarity you need to put that destructive light out of your life!
Signs you may be a victim to gaslighting:
no longer feeling like the person you used to be
being more anxious and less confident than you used to be
often wondering if you’re being too sensitive
feeling like everything you do is wrong
always thinking it’s your fault when things go wrong
apologizing often
having a sense that something’s wrong, but being unable to identify what it is
often questioning whether your response to your partner is appropriate (e.g., wondering if you were too unreasonable or not loving enough)
making excuses for your partner’s behavior
avoiding giving information to friends or family members to avoid confrontation about your partner
feeling isolated from friends and family
finding it increasingly hard to make decisions
feeling hopeless and taking little or no pleasure in activities you used to enjoy