In high school I identified as the fat chubby kid who never got the girl he wanted.
I was insecure. I was “the nice guy.” I didn’t know who I was. I was a people pleaser.
But when I was 21 years old I started to do something about it.
I made a fool out of myself COUNTLESS times, trying to learn how to connect with women through a lot of flawed self help and dating advice, some of which is still considered popular today.
Over time I’ve learned that the biggest problem people have when flirting, expressing interest, or asking someone out on a date, is that they’re trying to be something they’re not.
How many times have you tried to ACT a certain way...only because you think it will get a certain reaction from the person you’re attracted to?
Believe me, I’ve been guilty of this an uncountable amount of times.
It’s hard to know “how to be attractive” in a world that teaches both men and woman a million DIFFERENT ways on how to be attractive (PS- Most of them are bullshit!)
It took me a long time to realize that everyone’s most attractive version of themselves is when they express their most authentic selves in a bold, unabashed manor.
Problem is, most people don’t have a clear sense of who they are and therefor don’t know how to express themselves in that way.
If you identify as that person, that’s okay. There really is no better time to learn this skill than now. (Connect with me if you want to learn; I know of some great resources.)
For now, the next time you see or connect with someone you’re attracted to, start exercising the COURAGE it takes to express how you really feel to them.
Yes, easier said than done at first. You may even make a fool of yourself like I did! That’s okay. You won’t die
With practice, you’ll feel that initial fear begin to grow into a sense of freedom and exhilaration every time you act from courage and truth — as if you’re flexing the emotional muscle that says “I really can do anything if I allow myself to go for it...!”
Fuck complacency. Fuck apathy. Fuck being something you’re not.
Send ‘him’ or ‘her’ a message. Right now. Approach that person in public. Be vulnerable. Be bold. Express your interest and give them a legitimate opportunity to accept or decline your offer —
Because the truth is you always have zero control over how they’re going to respond to you, yet it’s your *attachment* to them saying ‘yes’ that will hold you back from expressing your attraction to them in the first place.
Practice letting that neediness go. Be free!
Tonight is Friday night; what better time to practice than now.
Hope this helps you. You are an awesome, beautiful human who is worthy of exactly the relationship you want right now. Own that shit!